James Poulter: Since The Day I First Experienced Psychosis
A short personal reflection expressed in poetic form, which focuses on the tumultuous effect that mental illness can have on an individual’s life.
The rain came down and the levee broke
The straw broke the camel’s back
Camelot disintegrated into war and enmity
The first spark of molten lava rose as the earth fissured.
All I know, all I am, all I pertain to be,
Is contained within my mind
Yet my mind dissolved into molecules that floated away on the current
Far from the safety of shore.
I camped out in the cave by the sea
Ancient memories of deep wrongdoing
I left everything behind, including my clothes
And walked naked into the pitch black night.
I travelled so far from my family, my friends, my culture, my past,
I took all that was pure and holy and innocent
And drenched it in the mud of earthly sin
Trampled underfoot and cast to the fire.
My mind fractured, a boat on the ocean without a sail,
The demons seized on my weakness
Filling my consciousness with wild fantasies and impossible dreams
Torn, broken, delusional, aggressive, in pain.
The water once polluted cannot return to its original purity
And yet I am a child of God, a lamb of Jesus, a star in the sky
Created to return to my original true self
Only Buddha Law can save me now.