Kelly Scargill: You matter
Can you imagine a reality where you’re able to talk to your younger self?
Imagine being able to go back in time so you can see them, in their bedroom or a place you used to find comforting. You sit them down and sit opposite them so that your attention is fully in the moment.
Now I want you to tell this younger version of yourself how much of a failure they are.
Tell them they’re an embarrassment,
That no one likes them,
That they’re worthless, useless and pointless.
Tell them they mean absolutely nothing
It’s pretty hard right? I’m sure you can see your younger self become upset, possibly start crying or get angry at you or themselves. Do you really think you could say it to them?
Because for some people this is essentially what they say to themselves every day, myself included. And it’s a tough one to break, but think about what you would do if you saw your younger self that upset. You’d want to protect them, to comfort them in times of need and make them feel safe.
Think about what you would really want to tell them.
That they’re worth it.
That they are amazing and shouldn’t let others bring them down.
That they are stronger than they think and that they will get through the worst times.
That they mean something.
Sometimes you have to put up with years of being put down by others, sometimes there won’t be someone to catch you, sometimes the ones you thought you could count on will leave.
What you can do is try and unlearn negative self talk, even if it takes months or years. Tell yourself what you would do if you were on the outside looking in: be the one to catch you, to comfort you, to remind yourself you matter.