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    prone wooden figure lying on stones with a stone on its back

    Megan Entwistle: But What Does It Look Like?

    A personal and honest view of the writer's experience of how it feels to live with depression. The suffocation and internal angst of living with it and the hope to be free of it.

    Today, I don’t want to get out of my bed
    For today I’m a prisoner inside my own head
    Crippling thoughts deceivingly wrap around my spine
    In the same way that ivy clings to the vine

    As I lay there lifeless, like a corpse in a grave
    Society will say ‘cheer up’ or ‘be brave’
    But they do not know the torture inside
    The reason I’m longing to run away and hide

    Day by day I face the arduous task
    Of pretending I’m fine whilst wearing a mask
    I smile, I laugh, and I may even joke
    Yet nobody knows that inside I’m broke

    I wish it were a dream so I could wake and be fine
    Instead I submerge my thoughts in a river of wine
    Each sip I take I begin to drown in despair
    Fighting, suffocating, gasping for air

    I make it to the surface and take a deep breath
    Still I feel no relief only a fantasy of death
    My mind is a maze and is constantly lost
    I yearn to escape whatever the cost

    So what does it look like my depression?
    It looks like nothing but feels like an obsession
    Obsession that one day maybe I’ll be free
    From the destructive thoughts that paralyse me

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