When things start happening in your body or your mind that make you think something is wrong, you usually go to your doctor for answers. Who you’re gonna call? Your doctor! After all, they have studied for sometimes ten years to help people, right? Hahahaha… Sadly, not always. So because hitting people with a spade is illegal, here is my sass-castic callout letter to the doctors who have dismissed my pain.
- “You shouldn’t believe everything you read on the internet”
Yes, I get that going on WebMD will automatically diagnose you with a flesh-eating parasite or a deadly disease. However, finding a potential diagnosis that perfectly describes your symptoms and bringing it up to your GP should not warrant for a condescending laugh. I want answers. I am not your comedic punching-ball.
2. You know, your symptoms are not always explainable, you may need to learn to live with it”
Oh, so I am supposed to “live with” something that makes me incapable of functioning, takes away all the activities I enjoy, and generally reduces my quality of life? What a great idea. I can totally see all your years of studying were worth something. No seriously, did you get your license to practice in your Frosties packet?
3. “Just get pregnant”
In what world did you think that saying to a 21 year old student with little to no money, and who cannot stand children, “get pregnant” would be sound advice? Fine, what should I do with the baby? Sacrifice it to the pain god? Will you, the doctor, pay child support? No? Well then shut your mouth and give me something I can actually use.
4. “Just stay positive, otherwise you’re not letting yourself be cured”
Ah yes, positive thinking, the well-known and scientifically acclaimed cure for everything in life. As we all know, a positive thought a day keeps the doctor away. And I am the Pope and you should go stand in a corner and think about all the ignorant ableist things that just came out of your mouth.
5. “Pray/ Your illness is a spiritual problem, it’s in God’s plan for you to have this’
I am not saying that praying isn’t a valid coping mechanism, and if having faith in something helps you, by all means, go ahead. But suggesting it as a cure-all to force someone into religion and invalidate them is probably in the top 10 list of bad ideas, alongside the Cheeto, the weather in the UK and olives (eeeew, olives). Besides, with everything going wrong in the world right now, the God you believe gave me this really needs to sort out his priorities. Shaking my head.