My relationship with music is sporadic, volatile and extreme, but that is why I love it. There are times when I listen most nights. For me at least, this tends to be when my mood is in a better place. These are usually the times when I will have a crack on the piano and usually feel great for doing so!
There are times though, when I just…… Stop. Complete halt for however many days. Fine, perhaps I just ‘don’t feel like’ listening to music that night? That said, I remain sceptical as to how much of this is a conscious choice but then again, our brains prepare our bodies for an action before we even consciously realise. These periods of relative ‘silence’ for me, are often troubled, restless or angry nights. Such nights are not silent though. Instead of melody, on this night, I am usually listening to the nonsensical ramblings of neural parties in my head while they debate and confabulate cases for, or against my eventual decision regarding choices x, y or z (this can anything from a friendship choice, to what I need from the shops next day).
As I lie awake at an ungodly hour, I decide I’m going to leave my feelings on the back boiler for now, and continue listening and appreciating the sounds and thoughts that are summoned.