Lucia: Not Quite
I am not quite anything
Today I am not feeling anything.
Those emotions seem just out of reach
I am not quite anywhere,
Floating from place to place and not attached to where I go.
The things I see are not quite there,
Fuzzy, blurry things that don’t quite make sense.
Colours and shapes merge together and clash into each other
Creating abstract paintings before my eyes.
Some day I hope to be different
To fix myself and find myself
I worry about this feeling of non feeling and of non being
But then also of feeling and being too.
The memories of good and bad are not quite there, no sense of morality
Just not quite.
I do not sleep in this not quite space and this not quite life,
The not quite disturbs and unsettles me.
I feel distant from the world and those who occupy that space.
Not quite human and not quite fitting in.